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#1 sasuke12

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 12:13 AM

Ok so I plan on making a RPG and I have all the basics worked out so I want to give a rough draft for my idea, this is how the story will look, please comment and add anything you want!

Edit: This is the revised Summary/Back Cover thing~

Your father is killed in front of you by a mysterious figure who
steals his research notes and flees. In his dying breath he whispers
to you, “Find the Vohmhin...”, launching you into an epic quest to
locate your father’s killer and avenge his death. Along the way you're
attacked by a mysterious cult and uncover a plot that threatens the
very fabric of reality. Now it is up to you to save the universe from
an ancient and sleeping evil the likes of which has not been seen
since the beginning of time. Are you willing to undergo the trials set
out before you to save the world, or will you simply surrender to the
madness wrought by this unspeakable horror?


This is what out storywriter came up with... I like the idea but I want to know ways to improve the "thought" and also if someone has any ideas on what type of jobs the character can do to earn money, I have farming as one of them... Also any other details that I should add!

Next Discussion: I would like your opinion - Do you like idea A or idea B better?

A) You get a magic sword at the beginning of the story and this sword, unknown to the character at first, is the only thing that can destroy the final boss. So you go around the map discovering lost powers of the sword and reclaim them... i.e. you will find the power of "Fire" and be able to do a devestating Fire Attack. This sword also changes it's shape to match the users preference. It can change into a sword, dagger, battle hammer, axe, etc. This will eliminate the need for a weapon shop.

B) You get a glove with seven small slots/pouches on it, with another slot/pouch over your palm. These slots will hold an ancient alien rock imbued with Natural Essences (fire, water, ice, earth, wind, light, and darkness). These rocks will be called "Tamraks" and your job is to collect all 7! The more you use i.e. "Fire" the higher it will level up and stronger attacks will be available. After collecting all 7, you will be known as the "Weilder" and with the powers combined, you can open an ancient door left by an alien race that created the final boss and seperated the stones (Tamraks). To use a power you remove one of the Tamraks from the selected slot and place it in the palm slot.

Edited by sasuke12, 28 March 2012 - 11:23 PM.

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#2 Artwark

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 03:13 AM

See the thing about rpg is that the stories have to be real strong rather than gameplay as the gameplay is always the same for RPGs. the story doesn't sound like it could be good. I mean its all mixed up. Is the antagonist the alien? If so what for is it after and why? Also You didn't explain the main character but the father instead. What makes the main character help his father?

You need to think about this as of now before coming up with a story. Because I too have made a lousy story once and now I'm thinking to make a good one out of it.
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#3 chance

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 07:08 PM

The sight of the main character’s father attempting to destroy the work sent him into a frenzy, and he murdered the man, stealing his research, and absconding to the cult. Unfortunately, this was witnessed by the main character, who is now faced with a decision as to what to do, eventually choosing to figure out who the figure, unknown to the character do to a hooded robe, was and pursue him.

...if someone has any ideas on what type of jobs the character can do to earn money, I have farming as one of them...

The main character decides to pursue his father's murderer... by farming? :huh:

You should choose activities that lead the main character closer to his goal of catching his father's murderer. Presumably, the murderer would try to re-join the "alien-worshiping cultists". So unless they live on a farm, farming isn't a job the main character would take.
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#4 Kristallify

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 07:29 PM

The story sounds more suited to be a Fantasy Action Adventure game more than a RPG.

Concerning the story, I think you should include the loyal cultists as the main enemies throughout the game. For bosses, you could use the most loyal followers as area enemies on your way to the final area or battle. Along the way, the Player could collect pieces of ancient text or pages from the father along quests to build the story further. In that way, the character can feel the story for themselves, rather than being hammered with massive text boxes at the beginning or from having to listen to NPCs constantly jabber on about nonsense.

I like the story, but I think the money should be replaced by finding chests, opening crates, or defeating enemies to gain money. Of course, collecting a certain item and returning it to the proper NPC or defeating a notable enemy is always a good option, rather than the constant repetition of performing a job.

All of this aside, do you have a setting for the game?
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#5 twelveways

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 07:29 PM

I think it is quite good, sounds like a Lovecraft story.
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#6 sasuke12

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 08:25 PM

The main character decides to pursue his father's murderer... by farming? :huh:

You should choose activities that lead the main character closer to his goal of catching his father's murderer. Presumably, the murderer would try to re-join the "alien-worshiping cultists". So unless they live on a farm, farming isn't a job the main character would take.


Well that's the point of this is to find what jobs would be more suitable and kind of replace my original idea!

As for the Setting of the story, it is yet undecided, but most likly it will have an older civilization theme, kind of medieval maybe! My storywriter and I are making the storyline better, but as I mentioned it was only the first draft! I will post a new one in a few days!

Edited by sasuke12, 27 March 2012 - 08:51 PM.

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