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Hot Wings Cool Rides 1 2


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#1 CaptainSnar

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 01:17 AM

Hot Wings Cool Rides

Version 1 is out!

Version 2 is out!


I will be editing this message as new versions come online.

Background:

I'm a member of Simtropolis. A friend of mine has a City Journal. There is a restaurant called "Chicken King". Around the Fourth of July last summer I came to him about making a "Chicken King" game. We both choose to make a game like "Frogger".

Introduction:

Your job as the Chicken King is to cross the road to the building. This is to move through the levels and to win the game.

Game play:

Version 1
There are 5 levels. The player uses the arrow keys to cross the road and make contact with the building to move through the levels and to win the game. The player has four lives. When a vehicle makes contact with the player they are pushed down and lose health. Once the player has lost all health for one live they lose a life. If the player loses all their lives the game is over the player lost. If on the last level the player makes contact with the building they have won the game.

Verison 2
There are 6 levels now. There is a tornado to keep away from. There are four more vechiles to watch out for.
Downloads/play

Verison 1

Verison 2


I hope you enjoy playing our game.
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#2 jinxtengu

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Posted 25 January 2008 - 06:38 AM

On the 25 of January 2008, at exactly 3:33 PM I began reading the article so sinisterly named “Hot Wings Cool Rides”. I expected the usual fare; some spotty 9 year old, who wore inch thick lenses since early childhood, rather portly and afraid of girls, is given a copy of game maker for Christmas from his ever more creepy, uncle Mark. After two months making edited versions of street race Mr spotty constructs his first real game, a game to be taken extremely seriously by no one other than himself. It would have to be a clone of course, aiding to spotty’s innate ability to be only slightly less imaginative than the average goldfish.

Brief history lesson:
The original Atari 2600 game “froggit” (the game “Cool Rides” is supposedly based on) was invented in 1666 by the French mathematician Jean le Bleah. le Bleah was a strong proponent for social justice and founder of the movement aptly named “le Omelette” whom fought strongly against mandatory salt taxes and campaigned heavily for equality for all eggs. In the Original Game of “froggit” players controlled an extendible gray pixel, this represented the long arm of le Bleah, who was known to be a notorious frog addict. Numerous green pixels would “hop” across the screen and become “run over” by existentialist milk trucks and nihilist formula one drivers. Despite their poor chances the frogs could escape if they ever managed to reach the top of the screen, however this was a very rare occurrence, as it required the frogs to traverse a raging river by hopping across various floating baguettes. For the frogs that didn’t make it, they had to be collected by the player. The challenge was not in collecting these flattened frogs but in then preparing them into culinary delights. And so ends our brief history lesson.


I assumed this article “Hot Wings” would be very poor in it’s general quality indeed. “What could a spotty so-and so year old obsessed with hamsters ever accomplish?” I thought to myself. Was I ever wrong. Good god, sweet holy mother of Jesus Christ pooperstar, was I ever worng…

I read the first letter Spotty had typed; “H”. How it rolled off the tongue. Almost the perfect way to begin any piece of writing. Suddenly It dawned on me, like some horrible anthropomorphic smiling cartoon used to endorse a product named “wanker delights”, this was no mere spotty
I was dealing with, this had to be the work of a highly advanced socio-political entrepreneur. There were all the tell tale signs; the word “Cool” so closely spaced right beside the word “Rides”, each starting with a capital letter. Now some people might write off these two anomalies as mere accidents, but I wasn’t fooled. Not for a second. It was immediately crystal Clear to me what ultra foul play was at hand. Obviously the word “Cool” had been placed beside the word “Rides” in a very sneaky and calculated way.


The capital letters also proved something else, something I had feared from the very, very beginning, the person what had written this “Cool Rides” article understood something very Dangerous and powerful indeed, something many current day scholars would refer to as a “dark art”, a satanic wizardry, a Church of Satan, an Anton la vey, what I am referring to is the witchcraft known as grammar.
Take for example a passage such as this:

When a vehicle makes contact with the player they are pushed down and lose health.

It ‘s an extremely slick and articulate sentence. Everything flows so smoothly, especially the message. For anyone who missed out here’s a recap: When a vehicle contacts the player the player contacts his mother (if possible) and dials 000. After contact, Vehicle becomes incensed at having his personal space violated by the player during “contact” transmographies arms and “pushes the player down” whereby vehicle proceeds to mow player down.
I mean it’s all so simple.

Many of the statements are highly confusing, this is mr spots advanced tactic. By confusing the reader he gets them to return to the title since it’s the only coherent syllable in the entire article, while doing so they read the words “Cool Rides” again and again, this eventually confuses them into senility also hypnotizes them into believing the game actually is “Cool”
Here take this sentence for example

Your job as the Chicken King is to cross the road to the building. .

Although the sentence is both slick and articulate it doesn’t follow any logical sense.
Are we truly expected to believe that the Chicken King is to cross the road to the building? Would it not make more sense for the Chicken King to send his servants perhaps? What is in this strange building? Why Is the Chicken Kings Job to cross the road to this mysterious building? One would assume the Chicken Kings Job would involve ruling as King, surely it would mean sitting around on his throne, eating corn. Is there some hidden meaning? Has the king crossed the road, such as the way one might cross a gangster? Is it referring to a religious ritual of crossing the road, perhaps to exorcise demons? Answers to these many questions we may never know. Questions which are sure to keep me awake for many a night.

There are further puzzling statements.

I will be editing this message as new versions come online.

I hate to burst your hyper allergic bubble (actually I take pleasure in doing so)
But new versions of games do not “come online” it is not like msn where people come online and usually ignore you, No, new versions of games will not do this.

If on the last level the player makes contact with the building they have won the game.

How is the player to “make contact” with the building. Is there a pay-phone somewhere in the game, is it like the movie E.T. (one would hope it’s nothing like the game) Also Is this statement supposed to be taken in it’s literal sense, if so I find it difficult to comprehend how it is possible to communicate with an inanimate and inorganic structure such as a building. Granted, it is a computer game so technically you are allowed to bend the rules a little bit.

If the player loses all their lives the game is over the player lost.

The player is lost? Like lassie?

In conclusion I can only hope that my wake up call has not come too late for those who have become eternally trapped within the Sisyphean cycle of reading the article-getting-confused-going back to the title. Snap out of it, go on break the cycle. You can do it. I know you can :GM058:

Back to the game, (and what an exciting game it is) hours of fun in this amazing little super gem this incredible little object of total sheer pulchritude. Amazing !
100000000000000/10
50ty smiles, hats off to the genius team behind captain snarr.
This game truly beats the rest hands down.
The great work deserves a standing ovation.
oh my god iv'e wet myself!

Edited by jinxtengu, 26 January 2008 - 08:18 AM.


#3 erty906

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 06:39 AM

Brilliant.
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#4 Zezuken

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 06:49 AM

Dear god Jinxtengu you sure got time on your hands and I'm surprised I read it all.....im going to go try it out beyond my good judgment...

edit:

I could only play in horror and think of what I was going to write in this edit, for Jinxtengu's post did little to show what horror laid within the game. Why did the chicken cross the road? And why did those cars fly off the road? And is that the car from Back to the Future? All of these questions were to waste when I randomly died without even moving in the second level for this game was sadly designed in a terrible attempt to make a playable game. For all of those reading, heed my warning, heed it well!

Edited by Zezuken, 26 January 2008 - 06:53 AM.

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#5 Asphyxia

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Posted 27 January 2008 - 04:15 AM

I read the first letter Spotty had typed; “H”. How it rolled off the tongue. Almost the perfect way to begin any piece of writing. Suddenly It dawned on me, like some horrible anthropomorphic smiling cartoon used to endorse a product named “wanker delights”, this was no mere spotty
I was dealing with, this had to be the work of a highly advanced socio-political entrepreneur. There were all the tell tale signs; the word “Cool” so closely spaced right beside the word “Rides”, each starting with a capital letter. Now some people might write off these two anomalies as mere accidents, but I wasn’t fooled. Not for a second. It was immediately crystal Clear to me what ultra foul play was at hand. Obviously the word “Cool” had been placed beside the word “Rides” in a very sneaky and calculated way.

The capital letters also proved something else, something I had feared from the very, very beginning, the person what had written this “Cool Rides” article understood something very Dangerous and powerful indeed, something many current day scholars would refer to as a “dark art”, a satanic wizardry, a Church of Satan, an Anton la vey, what I am referring to is the witchcraft known as grammar.
Take for example a passage such as this:
QUOTE
When a vehicle makes contact with the player they are pushed down and lose health.

It ‘s an extremely slick and articulate sentence. Everything flows so smoothly, especially the message. For anyone who missed out here’s a recap: When a vehicle contacts the player the player contacts his mother (if possible) and dials 000. After contact, Vehicle becomes incensed at having his personal space violated by the player during “contact” transmographies arms and “pushes the player down” whereby vehicle proceeds to mow player down.
I mean it’s all so simple.

Many of the statements are highly confusing, this is mr spots advanced tactic. By confusing the reader he gets them to return to the title since it’s the only coherent syllable in the entire article, while doing so they read the words “Cool Rides” again and again, this eventually confuses them into senility also hypnotizes them into believing the game actually is “Cool”
Here take this sentence for example
QUOTE
Your job as the Chicken King is to cross the road to the building.

Although the sentence is both slick and articulate it doesn’t follow any logical sense.
Are we truly expected to believe that the Chicken King is to cross the road to the building? Would it not make more sense for the Chicken King to send his servants perhaps? What is in this strange building? Why Is the Chicken Kings Job to cross the road to this mysterious building? One would assume the Chicken Kings Job would involve ruling as King, surely it would mean sitting around on his throne, eating corn. Is there some hidden meaning? Has the king crossed the road, such as the way one might cross a gangster? Is it referring to a religious ritual of crossing the road, perhaps to exorcise demons? Answers to these many questions we may never know. Questions which are sure to keep me awake for many a night.


Have you ever considered philosophy?

#6 TGOC

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Posted 27 January 2008 - 04:38 AM

This game has a very deep and fulfilling storyline (the Chicken King was what I assumed to be a mock of President George W. Bush II). From start to finish, I encountered something I never felt like was present in previous games. Yes that is right. Roads. Who would have thunk of putting a road in a game for the first time!

One time I was working on a clever game about a man who was on a destiny to pick up his laundry from his brother's dad's house, when he came across a road. However, I thought roads were foreign to people at the time (sometime in 2008), so I was worried on the kind of responses I would get on my game.

Sir, I applaud you for being the first to implement such a feature. How daring of you to do so.

This game is a game of politics, as previously stated. That silly chicken with the shield and the flashy colors behind it must be a symbol of power, willpower, and willingness to have power.

What can I say, this is one well done game.

I am looking forward to seeing more from CaptainSnar. Finally a true man.
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#7 CaptainSnar

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Posted 31 January 2008 - 11:02 PM

Thanks for the comments. It took me sometime to read the first. I believe the reason Zezuken died in the second level because of the Tornado. Next time you play try it with sound. The Tornado is a large odd shaped image. You might not notice it creeping in from the side. There is a sound effect along with it that you would hear and know there was a Tornado somewhere.

In the next week or two I will be posting the game of my profile's namesake.
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